Pandemic Work/Life Balance: Two Success Stories of Sanity and Self

I recently posted the story of when my husband went into the Doctor’s office for a sinus infection, came out with a diagnosis of four brain tumors, and my own journey toward self-care began. It was the “wake up call” of a lifetime, but I didn’t get it right away – I had to hit the wall of extreme exhaustion before I came to value the idea that if I don’t take good care of myself, I can’t take good care of anyone or anything else. But you don’t have to go through a major life trauma to get the message.  In fact, that’s another reason I built the 3C’s workshop:  to help others navigate the waters of balancing Career, Community and Self-care before sheer necessity requires it.

Two incredible people who are on the journey right along with me are Christi Cuellar Lotz and Michelle Vryn.  They are high-performing professionals, community leaders, and strong independent women who have families, friends, and elders to care for.  They are also leaders within the group I call “philanthropy’s first responders” – fund development professionals who are deeply committed to the cause they serve, and are pulling out all the stops to keep their missions funded even in the face of a global pandemic. I recently “sat down” with Christi and Michelle to get their thoughts on how it’s possible to have it all, but not so wise to have it all at once.  Top on their tips for success: Self-care and Reframing the situation.

“I’ve had to make tough decisions about how much I can do,” says Lotz, Director of Development for Ballet Austin for more than 12 years and a longtime community volunteer. “When the pandemic first began I didn’t have to commute and that extra time was great, but somehow now I feel busier than ever, trying to help keep a non-profit afloat and prioritizing family as much as I can. Self-care matters so much because I really feel it when I can’t make the time for it. But leaning in on volunteer work outside of my job is hard right now.”

Lotz is wise to prioritize self-care.  She spends a calm and private hour each morning before anyone else in the house is awake to make sure she starts the day in a balanced frame of mind.

As Mental Health America reminds us, “in our rush to ‘get it all done’ at the office and at home, it’s easy to forget that as our stress levels spike, our productivity plummets. Stress can zap our concentration, make us irritable or depressed, and harm our personal and professional relationships. Over time, stress also weakens our immune systems, and makes us susceptible to a variety of ailments from colds to backaches to heart disease. The newest research shows that chronic stress can actually double our risk of having a heart attack.”

But it’s not as easy to “let go” as some people make it out to be. Lotz laments not being able to devote as much time to volunteering like she used to.  “There are times when I have to say “not now” and decide when I can come back,” she says. “At this moment, in the middle of launching a 1.3 million dollar campaign, my job at Ballet Austin is my sole community service, and I’m content with that.”  Lotz is also intentional about reframing her attitude when things get tough, and staying focused on being grateful.  “I remind myself every day that I have been given so much of what I was asking for before .. more time with my family, less time commuting, fewer evening events.  Whenever I get stressed about the current situation if I just look at it a little bit differently – I see how it’s all being handed to us on a silver platter.  We just need to receive it.”

Michelle Vryn also excels at self-care. “I’ve always been good at it.  I meditate every day and make a conscious and consistent effort to remain present as much as possible. Really being in the moment is more important now than ever. I mentor people, I have my job, and volunteer on a board of directors.  I need to project a stable, positive energy because that’s what other people need from me.” 

Vryn, Director of Institutional Giving at Bat Conservation International, leads a culture committee at work which offers weekly meditation as well as other well-being initiatives. This healthy connection helps her stay positive and grounded.

“During this pandemic a lot of non-profit professionals feel like we are all in a place of deep lack – we don’t have enough, there’s not enough to go around.  It’s a pressure cooker.  And if you had these issues before COVID-19, they are even more amplified now.”

“As a person of color I’ve always been active in my community but the thing that is hardest for me to balance now is the additional emotional weight of it all.  With so much focus on multigenerational racism and discrimination - it’s so personal and now everyone else is talking about it.  I can easily get into a heavy space and reside there too often, so I have to know when to pull myself out.”

How does she do it? Like Lotz, with an extra dose of gratitude. “I need to self-monitor and know why I am off when I am off, be thankful for what I have, and give myself the grace and space to recalibrate.”

So, when it comes to the 3C’s:  Career, Community and Caring for ourselves and others – what do Lotz and Vryn believe are the real opportunities for fund development - and all - professionals during these challenging times?

“Fundraisers are very creative, innovative and entrepreneurial people,” says Vryn. “We need them now more than ever.  Having open conversation on our challenges, how we are using our voices, and putting forth our ideas matters. It might seem hard, but maybe now is the perfect time to lean in and make change at work. We need to continue to innovate. By necessity, we're being given the space to explore a new path forward.”

Lotz wants fundraisers to trust themselves more, and maximize the opportunities the change has created. “We’re doing so much now we have never done … building the plane as we fly.  Yet at times, it’s back to the basics. Fundraising teaches us to talk to people, and the virus is making that happen more than ever.  We’ve stopped emailing so much, are having more actual conversation, and reconnecting with others more authentically because everyone is going through something different.” 

That’s the ultimate reframe on what community involvement and fundraising are all about: genuine connection with other people and what they care about the most. What if the pandemic is giving us more opportunities than ever for those very things? What would we do to maximize that? What would we keep about current circumstances, and what would we leave behind?

If you’d like to join the discussion about navigating balance between Career, Community and Caring for yourself and others, sign up now for the 3C’s workshop on October 2, with proceeds benefiting Austin’s Association of Fundraising Professionals, “philanthropy’s first responders.”